It’s kind of hard to “hide” it anymore as Nicole’s stomach is growing everyday and looks about 2 months farther along than she is, so we are announcing that we are having three babies! We are nervous, happy, and many other emotions. There are always risks with multiples and since we can’t do anything “normal” there are, of course, some added complications with our girls, but we are putting our faith in our Heavenly Father that whatever happens is His plan. We plan for them to arrive hopefully sometime in February and not any sooner. Later would be just fine!
Yes, you could say my headline is a bit cheesy, but it is also very true. Mike and I have been married for 10 years now. We’ve had some major ups and some major downs during the 11 years we’ve known each other, but the bottom line is we’re committed to making this marriage last for Eternity. It’s so crazy how fast our lives pass us by. It doesn’t seem like 10 years! We are more in love and committed to each other now than we were 10 years ago. We’ve got the most amazing son to show for our efforts. There are days that it seems that we’re parents before being a husband and a wife, but that’s ok.
We would have loved to take a big trip for our anniversary, but due to the cost of everything mentioned in our last post we obviously had no money left. :) Mike was able to take a half day off work so we took Mister to lunch with us even though he was sick, again. I’ve been called as the Young Women’s 2nd Counselor and the night of our annivesary was New Beginnings, so we didn’t get to go out that evening. We did get to go to dinner the next night (with Mister in tow).
Last night we got to go to the Sarah McLachlan concert. Although it was an anniversary gift to one another it also was Valentine’s Day. We enjoyed dinner, walking around the UofU campus, and REALLY enjoyed the concert. She is an amazing performer and we got three hours of her in a smaller venue. It was a perfect night. We don’t get out much just the two of us and it was really nice to be together. We both missed our boy though and couldn’t wait to be with him after the concert. Maybe one of these years we’ll get to have an overnight outing without him, but not yet.
Thank you Mike for being a great husband and father. I love you with all my heart!
Most family and friends know the trials we went through to get our Angel boy, Gavin, here with us. To have him here with us has been worth every single challenge, struggle and trial we went through. This year has been another year of similar trials.
In January we decided to get things rolling and get the processes started to do IVF again. The groups we used last time had split and we decided to go with the medical team instead of the endocronologist. Utah Fertility opened a full service IVF clinic in Pleasant Grove in February so we were able to do everything here instead of having to travel anywhere. Based on our results from our IVF with Gavin it was determined that we would have to do a procdure called ICSI (intracytoplasmic sperm injection). This means that they would inject the sperm directly into the egg. And of course this procedure costs extra. Greatful for tax returns and home rebates!
Our first try at it was in April. This was a full IVF so I had the stimulation shots to get follicles to grow. They were able to extract 22 eggs. A pretty good number. They expected about half to be viable, but as our “luck” seems to go we only had 6 that got to a stage that they would be usuable. So, we decided to transfer 2 eggs and freeze the other 4. I was on “Princess Days” for 3 days, even over Mike’s birthday. Unfortunately I started bleeding even before my day 10 beta (hcg) test, so we knew it didn’t take. (the days are counted days after transfer) Heartbreak number one.
On to try number two. Since we had frozen embryos we did what is called an FET (frozen embryo transfer). No stim shots, but I do have to do estogen shots twice a week and progesterone in oil shots every morning. Mike gets to stick me. In July we ventured into this new realm of FET and actually had success for a few days. My day 8 beta was a 2, but my day 10 was only a 4. They had me go in for another beta on day 12. The result was an 8. These are very low numbers, but they were doubling which is the minimum they want for pregnacy. So, I was pregnant! I even had some symptoms. Started feeling nauseous when i didn’t eat, getting tired, and tender breasts. These didn’t last long, by day 18 I had pretty much lost them all and on my day 20 beta it was less than 2. They call this a bio-chemical pregnancy in medical terms but to us normal folk it’s a miscarriage. I was at work when I found out and had to leave. I was able to come home and mourn some on my own with out scaring Gavin. It was a very difficult time for Mike and I. We both felt that it was the right time and didn’t understand why it didn’t happen. We felt comfort in having one sweet boy though.
We decided to try again. Once again we felt good about it. On October 12th I went in for another FET. The embryos were about the same number of cells as the ones put in when we had Gavin and it was the same month that we tried for Gavin three years ago. We were hoping these were all “lucky” things. The procedure went great and I had three more “princess days”. Mike and my mom were so great with Gavin. It’s hardest on him when I’m on bed rest as he doesn’t understand why he can’t rough house on mommy like he usually does. I felt really peaceful about everything. We tried to be extra careful and I didn’t pick Gavin up for over 10 days! I took betas on day 8 and day 10. The doctors called me on day 10 with the results. I was pregnant once again! A 9 then a 17. Not quite double like they like to see, but still good numbers. Much better than last time! And then the symptoms started, and more pronounced than last time. I was so happy to have these! I don’t know if I can accurately describe this, but I felt pregnant. I felt that little spirit that wanted to come down. Then day 20 came around. 202. Not anywhere near the 1000 they like to see. I was devastated, but tried to turn it around and know that I was pregnant still and there was still a chance. We prayed and prayed that it would continue. Unfortunately it was not meant to be. I no longer felt that little spirit was there either, but I was still hoping against hope that something would change. I had another test three days later and it was down to 194. They scheduled me for and ultrasound 2 days later to make sure they couldn’t see any problems in the uterus, like an ectopic. There was no problems seen, but also no baby. They told me to have another blood draw in about a week. I found out that day that my grandpa had stopped dialysis a few days before and would be dying any day. To say that it was an emotional day is a huge understatement. The next day my grandpa passed away and so I had to leave for AZ later in the week and didn’t get to take my blood test until Monday when Gavin and I returned. The results were an hcg level of 500. What!?!? I had started bleeding that morning and didn’t expect there to be any hormone! They scheduled me for an ultrasound. There was still no babyand my lining was not as thick. They also didn’t find any sign of an ectopic. So, more blood was drawn. If my levels were not going down then they would give me a shot of a chemotherapy medicine that would kill any lingering pregnancy they couldn’t see. Lucky for me, in this instance, the number had decreased to 197. So, it was really over. The almost six week roller coaster was finally done. Although all the emotions remained the physical was done. Unfortunately the emotions reamin a lot longer.
I’ve had blessings each time we’ve gone through a procedure. The last time talked about faith. Faith is hard to have during our trials, but we tried to have it! My dad also gave me a blessing that said that Heavenly Father has a plan of happiness for our family. I know this is true. It’s hard to remember at times like this, but I am so truly blessed to have a husband who loves me and does everything he can to comfort and support me through this. We are both deeply blessed to have a precious miracle child in our lives. He is the sweetest boy!
So, now we have to decide what our next step is. Save money for another round of IVF?? Look into adoption?? Wait?? Unless you’ve gone through infertility it’s hard to understand the emotional and physical demands it takes on a person. Not just the female, though the female is the one with the physical part (hormones, shots, pregnancy, miscarriage, etc). It’s hard on both partners and can take it’s toll on them both. There’s also the financial aspect. We’ve spent a LOT of money on this and it’s hard to put money towards something with no return. Once again we’ll have to pray and have faith that we’ll be guided to do what He wants us to do. I still feel there is another spirit wanting to come to our family so I don’t want to stop, but it’s also so hard to want to try again. Why would anyone knowingly put themselves through this torture! Well, you’ve all seen Gavin and that is why. To have these precious spirits in our lives.
Thanks to all our family and friends who have prayed, fasted and loved us through all of this.
I love my family and am so blessed for what I do have.
I know it’s been FOREVER since I posted last and a lot has happened in that amount of time. Mister is 2 years old! Can you believe it’s been over two years since that precious little boy has come into all our lives making everyone’s day better when they see him?? I know I can’t. He is the funnest thing ever. It’s a lot of work being a mom, but SO worth it. So much has happened I’m not even going to try (at least in this post) to tell them all. We got some family photos taken with Mike’s fam. Here are some for your viewing pleasure.
We had a great weekend! Mike’s parents came into town. On the 3rd Misterand I went shopping with the “girls”. We went to Ross and found home decor for Emily and Grams also got us a couple pics! We went to lunch at Sizzler and had Mike join us. That evening we went to my mom’s for a bbq for her birthday. My aunt april and uncle dan were up to see the Stadium of Fire and went to the bbq as well. That evening we met back up with Mike’s family and watched the fireworks from the Provo High football field. The fireworks were pretty good this year, but I was disappointed in the finale. It was a blast having our little guy there with us. Words he used to describe the fireworks, “neat” “wow” “awesome” “boom” like it” ”this one”. He’s just TOO cute! On Monday morning we went to the parade. Just Mike, mister and me. Mister is just so much fun. He commented on everything he saw and kept asking for more. We left when he said “all done”. I went and saw “Eclipse” with the girls. It’s the whole reason mike’s mom and dad came out!!! The movie was pretty good. That evening we went to a bbq at mike’s mom’s uncle’s house. (got that?) Mike’s mom’s cousin is the mother of the Nigel Olsen, one of the marines that was killed in action in March. It was neat to talk to them and listen to a song that Nigel’s niece wrote. She’s only 9! All in all it was a great weekend. I love having a child to enjoy holidays with!!
Uncle Joel and Aunt Netty were able to dig out their old toddler bed and they gave it to Mister. He’s been out of his crib, with just the mattress on the ground since sometime in February. He was so excited to have a big boy bed! Thanks to the Lyons for the bed and to Daddy for putting it together!
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big helper
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jumping on mattress while daddy put bed together
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finished!!
We had fun with Mister this year. He got to help color eggs. He also got into finding eggs. Saturday morning the Easter Bunny came and left eggs everywhere for Mister to find. He also left Gavin a climber/slide. It’s so much fun! My camera died so i only got a few pics and none at Grandma’s house doing the egg hunt there.
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coloring eggs
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easter stuff
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sleeping boys
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